Look! There’s a portal at the back of my fridge.
Behind the jars of half-used curry paste and pasta sauce, beyond that leftover slice of frittata, is a gateway to another dimension. A place of adventure and mystery, where I can travel to the future. Or the past.
Or maybe not.
Okay, so there’s no portal at the back of my fridge. I just wish there was.
I used to do this sort of thing a lot when I was younger and doing chores. In highschool, when I’d iron my school uniform I’d pretend I was a plastic surgeon with a new technique for removing wrinkles. Drying the dishes? No, I was polishing the crown jewels. As for cleaning my room, well, that was an archaeological expedition and I was on the hunt for King Arthur’s sword. Or the lost city of Atlantis. But it’s years now since I’ve escaped into my imagination to relieve the boredom of chores.
I cleaned the fridge out, you see. One of those regular, boring, has-to-be-done, tasks. And it’s never a matter of simply throwing a few things out, is it? Because as you shift things around you notice other things, like the leak from the chilli sauce bottle that’s fallen on its side. Then you see a splash of something on the wall at the back. And that tomato looks fine from the top, but when you pick it up….eww.
Next thing you know you’re not just getting rid of some expired condiments and doing a wipeover, no. Now you’re pulling everything out. Including the shelves and racks. And you’re scrubbing. And chipping away at that puddle of chilli sauce because it’s hardened and dried like bloody concrete.
Anyway, today as I cleaned I remembered back to my days of plastic surgery and archaeological expeditions, and I wondered what the teenage me would have made of fridge cleaning. Tomb raiding, perhaps?
In the end I decided I was clearing a pathway to a mystical portal that exists just below the temperature control dial. Who knows, it might make a good story one day. Maybe. So if I ever venture into writing children’s books, and you come across this title, The Mysterious Portal at the Back of the Fridge, you’ll know where the idea came from
And now I have to go and put the groceries away. Or am I really hiding plundered treasure?